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Post by Gracie♥ on Aug 31, 2010 5:07:05 GMT -8
 you heard that i was trouble ,
BUT YOU COULDN'T RESISTT A K E A B I T E L E T M E S H A K E U P Y O U R W O R L D- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
"I'm so sorry, Eli, I had no idea... Eli, you're not insane, or dangerous."
The trees that lined the sidewalks started to dance as the wind picked up, and leaves were lifted on the ground, only adding to the creepiness of this place. "Ava. You don't understand... That's only the beginning," I explained coolly. I glanced down to the puffy, uncomfortable scars that ran up and down both arms, which had grown since Allie had moved in.
Only, she didn't know.
I was usually one to wear long sleeves, but the one time I rolled them up everyone just had to see. I knew it was bad, unhealthy even to cut yourself, but... so was I.
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Post by summerstorm on Aug 31, 2010 14:33:34 GMT -8
  
Ava. You don't understand... that's only the beginning.
Eli explained to me, his voice cool as he ran his hands down the scars that lined his arms. I bit my lip so hard I could taste the blood as it seeped into my mouth, swallowing uncomfortably as I sat there. My eyes scanned his arms, wincing at how deep the cuts must have been. I knew what they were from. Eli had been cutting himself, there was really no doubt about that. It pained me to see Eli this way; to see him so utterly damaged and hurt by this, to the point when he would cut himself.
"Only the beginning?"
I whispered the words in question, not exactly sure what he meant. Turning sideways in the vehicle's passenger seat, I faced Eli once again. I took his hand in mine, stretching his arm out so I could see all the scars that marked up his arms.
"Why do you cut yourself, Eli?"
My voice was barely there, I didn't even know if he would hear me. I swallowed the emotion that rose in my throat, trying to blink back the tears that seemed to well within my eyes. My fingers traced the scars, as if making sure they were real. At this point, it all seemed like some horrible nightmare. I always had a big imagination... but there was no kidding myself. This was real.
I realized that my question might sound stupid, but somehow I knew that his words really meant something else just as tragic had happened. To him.
Why did the universe choose Eli? Why did he have to go through this? He didn't deserve it. Any of it. He deserved to be with his girlfriend like nothing ever happened. I sat back in my seat, suddenly not able to contain the damned tears that welled within my eyes. I stared out the window for a few seconds, trying to get a hold of myself.
OUTFIT: www.polyvore.com/cgi/profile?id=1840517TAGS;; Ava&Eli MUSIC;; THOUGHTS;; This post template was designed by Amami From Caution 2.0Song lyrics from Your love is my drug By Ke$ha[/color][/size] |
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Post by Gracie♥ on Aug 31, 2010 15:19:26 GMT -8
you heard that i was trouble ,
BUT YOU COULDN'T RESISTT A K E A B I T E L E T M E S H A K E U P Y O U R W O R L D- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
"Only the beginning?" Ava questioned, tears of concern welling in her eyes. "Why do you cut yourself, Eli?" It was a good question, one I had never faced. One I wasn't sure I could face. Honestly, there were probably a million reasons why I did it. After Allie was shot, it just... Sent me over the edge. I couldn't take it anymore. Marina, Allie, my family, everything that was important to me had started to crumble. One by one, they were dropping like flies. I couldn't stand it any longer.
"I guess, after another of my friends was shot, I just... Snapped," I explained coolly.
At this point, I was questioning my judgment. I hardly knew this girl, and I was just telling her every last little thing she asked? But, it wasn't like I had anything to lose. My life was a mess. Getting any worse - well, I wasn't sure if that was possible. Swallowing hard, I twisted around in my seat to face Ava, wiping a stray tear from her face, feeling immediately guilty. She didn't have to cry. Not for me, anyway. It's not like I was worth her sympathy anyway. The second I caught her gaze, I allowed my eyes to flicker back out the windshield, staring blankly at the leaves that sat lifelessly on the ground.
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Post by summerstorm on Aug 31, 2010 16:14:18 GMT -8
I guess, after another of my friends was shot, I just... snapped.
His words made me sit back in my seat, unable to meet his gaze. Again I questioned, why Eli? What made the universe think that he needed to be hurt again and again? To the point when he would hurt himself physically. Suddenly I felt like I couldn't hold it in anymore, as a stray tear trickled down my cheek. Eli's fingers gently wiped it away, eyes meeting mine only for a second before drifting back to the windshield. I let out a shaky breath, searching in my mind for the right thing to say... but really, at this point, what were the right words?
"Eli... I.."
I tried to speak, hoping something would come out that sounded right, but nothing did. I wiped the tears that fell from my eyes absently, blinking as I tried to clear the rest away. I didn't know what to say. However there was one question that I figured I may has well get out of the way.
"Did... did your friend come back?"
I asked turning my head from facing the windshield so now it faced Eli.
OUTFIT: www.polyvore.com/cgi/profile?id=1840517TAGS;; Ava&Eli MUSIC;; THOUGHTS;; This post template was designed by Amami From Caution 2.0Song lyrics from Your love is my drug By Ke$ha[/color][/size] |
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Post by Gracie♥ on Aug 31, 2010 18:15:24 GMT -8
you heard that i was trouble ,
BUT YOU COULDN'T RESISTT A K E A B I T E L E T M E S H A K E U P Y O U R W O R L D- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
"Eli... I... Did... did your friend come back?"
I nodded solemnly, sitting on my side so I could face Ava. She had just crossed a line, into my little world. Somewhere few people had ever been before. I wasn't sure if it was a good thing or a bad thing, but I was going with it for now. She had a trustworthy air about her, something I truly admired.
"Yeah. She, uh, she came back the minute I started cutting myself. I would have been hurt way more than this, maybe even dead, if she hadn't come back."
I shot her an apologetic smile. I was sorry... Sorry for dragging her into this. Sorry she had to hear all this shit. Sorry she was crying when I hardly needed her sympathy. I was a lost cause, a tortured soul... Hell, I didn't need her help.
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Post by summerstorm on Aug 31, 2010 18:32:58 GMT -8
Yeah. She, uh, she came back the minute I started cutting myself. I would have been hurt way more than this, maybe even dead, if she hadn't come back.
He told me, before shooting me an apologetic smile. I finally caught his gaze, my eyes soft and full of genuine sympathy. Oh Eli... how could this happen to him? Why? No matter how many times I ran the questions through my head, it still didn't make sense. It made me sick to think about him cutting himself. I shook my head slowly, trying to rid myself of any more tears.
"Oh.. Eli... I.. "
I still had no idea what to say. Part of my wanted to hug him, to hold him in my arms and never let anything hurt him again. But I was hesitant; what did all this mean for mine and his relationship? I cared a lot for Eli. He meant something to me. This wasn't just a one night stand. There was something here.
I didn't know what to do at that point. Wether to just sit there in an uncomfortable silence or to hug him. Suddenly I just made a decision, even though I knew he may reject it.
My arms reached over the seat, giving him a soft hug, blinking slowly as tears threatened to fall once again. Eli... oh god. He had been through absolute hell. It made me sick to think about what he had been through.
OUTFIT: www.polyvore.com/cgi/profile?id=1840517TAGS;; Ava&Eli MUSIC;; THOUGHTS;; This post template was designed by Amami From Caution 2.0Song lyrics from Your love is my drug By Ke$ha[/color][/size] |
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